[CoU] Dear My Closest Friend


Dear My Closest Friend

Auryyn collapsed in the forest clearing as dark clouds gathered in Odessen’s sky, the sound of thunder ricocheting through the trees. She rolled onto her back, panting, her arms and legs stretched out. It had been daylight when she had told Lana she was “going for a walk” after they had returned from Umbara. In actuality, she had no idea how long she had been running for, and she didn’t recognise this part of the forest. Maybe that was for the best. The feeling of sweat running down her back mingled with the coldness of the grass against her exposed skin made her shiver, but she didn’t move. As she stared at the sky, she did not feel anger, nor disappointment, nor sadness, but rather a profound emptiness that threatened to consume her. It had started by devouring her core, and had now reached her extremities, causing her to go numb.

Theron had been the brother to her that August should have been, but never had been. Finding out her brother was alive, only to discover he was the Emperor’s Wrath and had succumbed to the Dark Side, had almost torn her apart. It had been like losing him for a second time. Theron had been there to help her pick up the pieces. He was family. There were no secrets between them; or at least, so she had thought. He was one of the few people who knew she’d gone against the Jedi code on attachment, one of the only people she’d spoken with about those lost days she had spent under the Emperor’s control. She should have seen this coming. Not Lana. Not anybody else. Her.

Auryyn could feel the cold seeping into her skin and her body felt like lead, her eyes falling shut – but the events of Umbara were waiting for her there. She felt her heart crumble anew upon turning to see Theron behind that barrier, blaster in hand, Lana diving in front of her. She recalled his expression, twisted by anger, and disillusionment and the pain in his eyes. He looked at her as though she were a monster, unrecognisable. His words lingered, and reverberated in her mind, growing louder and louder until they drowned out everything else.

You’ve become a symbol of oppression.

So much for your dreams of peace.

Her eyes flew open as thunder rumbled overhead. She wriggled her fingertips upon feeling the first few drops of rain. She was still fighting for peace – she had fought for peace her entire life, first with the Jedi, now with the Alliance. She and Theron had fought side by side and never let one another lose sight of their cause. But as Theron’s words repeated over and over, all she could think about was all of the blood on her hands. All the sacrifices, all the losses and the struggles – had they really been for nothing? Had she simply fuelled the cycle of power, war and death? Maybe this had been Valkorion’s intention all along, to twist her into whatever it was that Theron now saw in her. An oppressor. A tyrant.

Every day, I face pain. I inflict suffering—out of necessity, on those we call “the enemy”…it eats at you…

The words she had spoken to Master Orgus on Rishi rang through her mind, clear as a bell, and never had they held so true. Every positive the Alliance produced inevitably inflicted a negative and everyone told themselves it was all for The Greater Good, or some other justification to help them sleep at night. She was not exempt from that. That day, her Master had reminded her of the importance of simple acts of kindness and helpfulness, and she longed for those days again. With Master Orgus’ help, she had restored the part of her she had lost to the Emperor’s darkness and her hope  with it. Now, as she lay in the darkness of Odessen, she feared that Theron’s betrayal and her failure now threatened to re-open that old wound, allowing the guilt to fester there and contaminate anything she touched.

It was so cold that Auryyn could see her breath as puffs of smoke. She shivered again and wrapped her arms around herself in a bid for some warmth. The lights of the Alliance base twinkled in the distance, and she wondered if Lana had sent out a search party yet. It was as though time had stopped, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Why didn’t he say something?

I knew you’d try to talk me down.

She knew if he’d told her what he was planning, she wouldn’t have let him face it alone. He knew that, too. It had all happened so fast. She had seen and heard this all with her own eyes and ears, yet doubt was creeping in. Why would he destroy everything they had worked so hard to build? And for what? Peace? But at what cost?

Millions will die!

If that’s what it takes…

Auryyn forced herself to sit up and she scoffed. If Theron truly believed that, he was no better than Valkorion, she thought bitterly, despising the comparison. She stared at the stars, but they were silent, shining away in the darkness. She’d asked Theron to come home. He’d asked her to trust him, and in what he was doing. With every fibre of her being, she wanted to.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she muttered to herself, shaking her head.

She got to her feet and stretched, the numbness ebbing away from her. She wouldn’t let this break her, whatever the end result. All she could do was hold onto the hope that Theron would come to his senses, and come home to her, to the Alliance; though she feared that as with a broken mirror, she would still be able to see the cracks.



The Bet (Ficlet)

The Bet

Takes place between end of Forged Alliances and Rishi

Featuring: Auryyn (DS, Warrior), Vette, Theron sort of.


It had started as a game. A stupid bet that Vette hard started – and that Auryyn had ended up stupidly taking.

“Come on, don’t hold out on me. I want details,” Vette wheedled, leaning forward eagerly.

She and Auryyn were in her quarters, and Vette had claimed the bed as her seat almost immediately. Auryyn didn’t much care – she was happy leaning against the wall. She scowled at her Twi’lek friend and folded her arms defensively, which only served to elicit a giggle from Vette.

“Please?” Vette pressed, blinking excessively at her.

Auryyn sighed and brought her fingers against her forehead, knowing that she was going to regret this.

“All right,” she conceded, shaking her head.

Vette was not deterred in the slightest and she smirked smugly, leaning back and folding her arms as she relished her victory.

The Wrath rolled her eyes and re-folded her arms before starting pace across the small room.

“He’s…nice to look at,” she said, after a few more moments.

“And?” Vette encouraged, her eyes bright and wide.

Auryyn paused her pacing and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you want me to say? He makes a Republic accent sound attractive?”

Vette snorted and then started giggling uncontrollably. When she recovered, she gave a heavy sigh and then tucked her arms behind the back of her head.

“You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you like him,” she teased.

Auryyn turned sharply to face her companion.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. He makes an adequate distraction, and I enjoy watching him squirm,” she protested, tossing her hair. She wouldn’t meet Vette’s gaze, and she tried to ignore the warmth rising in her cheeks.

Vette raised an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh. Sure you do,”

Auryyn frowned at her friend, who had a finger pressed against her lips as though in deep thought. She sighed and looked up, and then shrugged.

“Anyway, even if you were interested, which you’re clearly not, I bet he wouldn’t be interested in you,” she said with a mock sad smile.

Slightly taken aback by her statement, the Wrath blinked, processing Vette’s words. Vette was watching her intently for the reaction, ready to bolt if necessary. She couldn’t disguise the look of relief on her face when Auryyn merely folded her arms.

“What makes you say that?” she asked, attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Vette shrugged again and shuffled around so that she could put her feet up on the wall.

“I don’t know…Republic SIS Agent goody two shoes and a Dark Lord of the Sith…I mean there’s incompatible, and then there’s doomed and then-,”

Auryyn cut her off by raising a hand.

“I get the picture,” the Sith said coolly.

She turned away, not seeing the smile that spread across Vette’s face as she did so. The smile was quickly wiped from the Twi’lek’s face when Auryyn turned to face her again.

“Aside from the fact that I’m…not interested, I think you’re wrong,” she retorted, her red eyes bright.

“I don’t know – I think I’d still put my money on “not going to happen ever”,” Vette teased.

“Is that a challenge, Vette?”

Vette groaned and then covered her face with her hands.

“I forgot – you Sith always turn everything into a competition. It’s impressive…and exhausting!” she said, allowing her fingers to slide down her face. She rolled her eyes and then sat up properly again. She looked up at Auryyn, attempting to keep a straight face. She was about to speak again, but Auryyn got there first.

“I’ll take that bet,” the Wrath said after a few moments.

Vette’s mouth actually fell open, her eyes wide once again. Auryyn laughed and smirked triumphantly.

“Don’t act so surprised, Vette. I love a challenge, and the tougher, the better,” she stated.

Lost for words, Vette simply stared at her and then shook her head. She recognised that familiar excited glint in her friend’s eyes and she knew there was no way of talking her out of it now. She bit her lip, trying not to think too much about what she had gotten herself into with this. Sighing, she got to her feet.

“Wow…you’re really going to do this. Okay. You’re on,” she said.

Auryyn nodded, though she couldn’t ignore the fact that he heart had started to race.


Thanks for reading! ❤
There may be more. I’m not sure yet. Forgive me! 


Smugg Life

My name is Cad’Kreon’Iyrah  Kreon, please, and you may not have heard of me yet, but you will soon enough.

I was just a small time smuggler, making my way in the galaxy but my dream was to be part of a boyband.

I know, right? I was a Captain of my own starship, had a pretty sweet smuggling gig until things kicked off with the Imps. But my ol’ lass of a ship didn’t make a great audience. I wanted to be heard.

So I rocked up on Ord Mantell – I know what you’re thinking – the planet was nigh on a warzone, what would a singer want with such a place?? But inspiration and talent occurs in the strangest places, my friends. It started out as a small smuggling run, but turned into the smartest move of my career…



I may or may not continue writing Kreon’s boyband antics, but I thought I would post this!


You Know Not What You Have Done

I’ve had this one scene in my head for a while now it’s been itching to be written out. So…I did. And then I uploaded it cause…why not! (eee!). 

I’ve wanted to upload some writing for a while but I’ve not been able to pluck up the courage until now!

Bit of context: Taken from my longer story (WIP, as in, emphasis on the progress aha) about Auryyn discovering her parents were SIS Agents and everything that unravels as a result.

No spoiler warnings or anything 🙂


“Did you know?”

Theron Shan cautiously observed Auryyn as she approached him slowly, her arms folded. Her brow was furrowed, her deep brown eyes looked more intense than usual and her lips formed a single straight line. She watched the Agent’s face carefully but he gave nothing away, he didn’t even seem to blink or breathe for a few moments. Eventually, he faltered slightly and his face twitched as though about to speak. When he didn’t, Auryyn met his gaze and held it there.

“Did you know?” she pressed again, more slowly and insistent this time.

The emotion in her words was palpable and Theron noted the slight tremors in her voice. Another moment of oppressive silence passed between them before Theron sighed and looked away.

“I…,” he hesitated and then swallowed, “They told me that when they found your parents’ bodies your brother’s wasn’t among them, but I swear to you, I didn’t know anything past that,” he implored, meeting her eyes once again.

“You knew that much, and you didn’t tell me?” Auryyn replied, her voice raised.

Theron winced, not at the anger in her tone but at the disbelief and disappointment behind her words. He could see that she was hurt; he felt guilt bubbling up inside him and he forced himself to quell it.

She shook her head and unfolded her arms.

“Why Theron? I thought we were friends!” she snapped.

“I did it because we’re friends, Auryyn. I was-,”

“Don’t you dare say you were protecting me!” the Jedi screamed, her eyes fierce. The atmosphere in the room seemed to ripple at her outburst and the temperature seemed to plummet.

She turned on her heel and stormed a few paces away before rounding on Theron, who’s hand twitched nervously as a shiver slipped down his spine.

“All this time my brother has been alive and in the hands of the enemy, and the SIS did nothing. My parents gave their life to the SIS,”

“I’m not debating that the SIS handled this badly, but I wanted to wait until I had solid intel on your brother’s whereabouts before telling you anything,” Theron retorted, frowning.

His hazel eyes followed Auryyn as she paced, gazing up at the ceiling as if they would yield some form of comfort or an answer she sought.

“But you lied to me. You told me you didn’t know anything. And the whole time…the whole time,” she groaned, burying her face in her hands.

She took deep breaths to calm her thoughts and repeated the first line of the Jedi code over and over in her mind. There is no emotion, there is peace. After a few moments, she folded her arms again and turned to approach Theron. He didn’t move as she crossed the room to him although he found her sudden calmness unnerving. Seeing her like this reminded Theron just how powerful she was and just for a moment, he got a slight taste of what it would be like to be on the wrong side of her.

“I have never tried to sense whether you were lying to me or not, Theron,” Auryyn stated. Her eyes shone in the light and Theron felt his stomach knot uncomfortably as he realised it was because there were tears there. She inhaled shakily and offered him a weak, sad smile.

“Because I trusted you not to,” she said with a small shrug.


She held up her hand and he stopped.

“You’re an Agent. Keeping secrets and lying is what you do. I should understand that. But I am a Jedi, and Jedi don’t have friends,” she continued.

Theron’s eyes widened and he threw his hands up.

“That’s ridiculous, Auryyn. Even you don’t believe that!” he said, shaking his head at her.

She did not falter.

“I know. But you chose to be an Agent over being a friend when you chose to lie to me,” she said, her voice strained. She swallowed and looked away. Theron felt physically sick – deep down, he knew she was right. He had lied, and convinced himself he had been doing the right thing at the time. He couldn’t even find the words to express how sorry he felt, or to offer any semblance of comfort to his friend.

“I think I understand why the code forbids attachment even to friends now. Now please…just go,” Auryyn said, pointing to the door without even looking at it.

Theron moved as if he were about to speak, thought better of it, and then turned on his heel and stormed out. Once Auryyn heard the door close behind him, she wandered over to the large window and looked out at the star filled sky. She reached into a pocket on her belt and pulled out a battered Corellian speeder model which she examined and then closed her hand around tightly.

“I’m coming, August,” she whispered.